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So, by now, you’ve got a digital dating portrait worthy of Da Vinci.
The next step in the process is selection of possible dating partners, but if we’ve learned anything from the other D, Darwin, nothing leads to the extinction of a species—or your love life—faster than impatient, impetuous, inattentive behavior. So, unless all you’re after is a string of casual hook-ups, in the world of online dating, brains trump brawn pretty much every time.
“What I would honestly tell you, flat out, is that just because don’t care,” says Wendy.
“Just because someone looks cool and has a good sense of humor doesn’t mean that a woman who clearly states, “I’m looking for marriage and children” is going to respond well to you … ’ doesn’t cut it, but something like, ‘I can’t believe you met Ryan Gosling!
“A dozen of his favorite movies, 17 of his favorite bands, a million examples of what he liked to eat, read, do. ’ it’s obvious all he wants to do is porn chat,” says Wendy.
It was overwhelming.” The flip side of the over-sharer is the losing lothario who opens with, “Hey, are you naked right now? “That’s not just wasting my time and yours, it’s actually making me angry. He actually reads her profile and decides he might want something more; that she might be the one?
Your odds are even better on Sundays: Add perusing dating apps into your “easing into the week day” Sunday night routine. on Sunday night is the average peak of traffic for Ok Cupid, a.k.a.Play it cool: People tend to word-vomit exactly what they’re looking for in their bios: a life partner or someone to cuddle with at night.Less is more, warns Laurie Davis, chief executive of e Flirt, an online dating consultancy.Nothing is more annoying than a guy who takes shortcuts.” She cites the following example: “Say I spend an entire paragraph talking about how one of my loves is spending time with my sister and rolling around with her two boys. ’ I’m like, ‘Can’t you even be bothered to read the whole profile? If the other person’s profile says, ‘I’m looking for long-term,’ and all you’re after is hooking up, give it a pass.’ Or, I’ll have stated that if you do any drugs at all—even pot—you and I will not be a match, yet I hear from guys who are clearly into partying.” Wendy’s cardinal rule for online dating is this: Don’t waste your own time and don’t waste other people’s time. Similarly, if you want something more serious, and all she’s into is random play, move on.” Next: Scaling it back [pagebreak] The problem for many younger guys when choosing appropriate potential partners, notes Wendy, are “the shiny factor” and “single focus self-involvement lenses.” The most frequent offenders, in her experience, are twenty-somethings just looking to hook up or find some instant gratification. “They see a tremendous rack in one of my pictures, and they’re mesmerized, and I get the IM or email.” (In fact, commenting on a woman’s physical attractiveness right off the bat can actually be a turn-off, according to Robinson, since it can be read as superficial.
Send the wrong emoji — or apparently any at all if you’re male — and you’re as good as gone.